A Scientist once told me that our bodies aren't meant to have sex with as many people as we, in modern America, do. I had no idea what he meant at the time.
But then recently, A Health Professional Said...
...Condoms only protect against HIV and pregnancy. And that's only when they don't slide off or pop. (EVERYTHING else can be transmitted during "protected" sex).
...Lesions, warts, sores or other symptoms don't need to be present for your partner to transmit them.
...(As an example): Someone with Asymptomatic Herpes can slough the virus from anywhere on their genitalia, at any time, and infect their partner. (Not sure if this is the same with other viruses).
The kicker:
(As I learned later, according to a Herpes website) 90% of people have Herpes and don't know it. The only way to know is through a blood test, and no one does them. Why? The Health Professional described the test as "a can of worms."
I share this, because I feel as though I've been lied to. The strong women I idealize as independent and fashionable role models on Sex and The City, (if the above facts are true) are not liberated, but most likely, (were they real people) are among the afore-mentioned 90%.
And Not-That-There's-Anything-Wrong-With-That. Evidently, as any quick google search will show, there's a very active online Herpes Dating community. (I'm sure it's the same for every other incurable STD). Clearly, life does not end once someone contracts an STD.
But the same way the medical community continued to tell women that mammograms were "lifesavers" when they knew they weren't (a 20-year nurse's study came out a few years ago discounting mammograms' effectivity), I think someone should have warned us, as our numbers climbed, that adding sexual partners to our respective rosters was only asking for trouble, period. Slogans like "Just Wrap It Up," and "Knowing Is Beautiful" seem to fall way too short, with the above information.
Imagine: what would dating be like if we saw the condom for what it was--(a HIV-Hat and Baby-Rejector)? Would we all be as randy as we are? Or would we date to get-to-know and trust that the sex would just magically be there after the vows?
Cynical Roar that I am, I've never believed that great sex would magically be anywhere, especially not in the marriage bed of a celibate couple. But my cynicism has been overridden by fear:
I'm never having sex again. Until I'm married.
Knee-jerk reaction? Perhaps. But for now, Roar is officially Prude.
***Proof that guys don't get tested as often as us chicks do.***
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16 comments:
"A Health Professional Said..."
OMG an anonymous health professional said it. it must be true!
That's what me and The Mrs. did.
Best decision ever... and the sex is still HOT BABY! So don't be too cynical.
word on the street is that battery operated toys are safe.
Are we placing bets how long this lasts? I say one month. No offense love.
I just heard a collective groan of dismay from all the would-be guys trying to get in Roar's pants. ;-)
O, you Cynical 'Mous: I have to respect your distrust of these gloomy facts, so I'll clarify: The Health Professional was a Dr. at Planned Parenthood that was clearly trying to scare the bejesus out of me. And it worked.
Daddy- Yes, but isn't it interesting how hard it is to ask those questions (and trust the answers) when you're dating someone?
Ghetto, honey: You may be suprised... but you'll be the first person I call when I, uhm, transgress.
Mr. Bland- That is SUCH comforting news!
Sweet- How flattering!
The doomsday scenario:
You keep yourself chaste until marriage, and after months of waiting for the right guy, then months of planning, and thousands of dollars spent on the perfect wedding, you and your guy do the deed.
Not only is it wholly unsatisfying, but you end up at the clinic the next week because he "neglected" to tell you that HE was anything but celibate. ;)
Everything in life has risk. You can get cancer from your drinking water, from breathing your air, and so on. And you're MUCH more likely to die from that than a case of the one hand clap. ;)
This is a public service announcement from PAASST (Pimps Against Anti-Sex Scare Tactics), a division of Boztopian Health Care Consulting, LLC. All rights reserved.
LOL.
Cute. But I'm not biting. Not yet.
Your idols on Sex and the City may be fashionable, but they define themselves by the presence or absence of men in their lives. Just sayin'...
I stand with the Ghettodev in this matter. You're too much woman to be restrained in such a fashion, even if it is self-inflicted. :)
Besides, I bet I can use the power of the Internet and find you studies directly contradicting what the Health Professional said. ;)
I'm all in favor of not cheapening one's sexuality, but I'm deeply opposed to scare tactics. Hell, read my LJ--I recently opined on this myself. ;)
Roar: When was the last time you were abstinent and for how long?
When I was moving to a country where about 20% of the people are HIV positive, I thought: not having sex for 1 year. And in an orientation the health expert said:
I bet you are all thinking you are not going to have sex for the time of your assignments. DOESN'T WORK. So hes solution was:
GET TESTED..... BOTH OF YOU!!
For HIV and the other STD (Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis … for which condom does protect) and I guess you can add herpes in your list.
I would not doubt the veracity of that "scare tactic." Herpes really is that prevalent. Even though you don't have a coldsore or tingling on your lip, there are still days throughout the year that you can infect a partner genitally. It's called asymptomatic viral shedding. And it sucks. I have most likely had herpes for about a year and a half now, or maybe years, and never knew it until this month. An ex told me he had it, I was tested and it was negative. My current partner, whom I live with, never had an ob until about 2 months ago. Neither of us has ever cheated. Yet, here we are with herpes. At the clinic I went to, the nurse practicioner told me that in my town for the last year and a half they have diagnosed new cases almost daily. I live in a small town of about 80,000. It is a Big 10 university town, so of that 80,000 about 30,000 are students from around the world who are bringing in and leaving with herpes by the thousands. It really is an epidemic. A harmless, itchy, burning, humiliating epidemic that most people don't even know they have.
It is a Big 10 university town, so of that 80,000 about 30,000 are students.
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Ummm--I'll take Happy Valley for 500 please.
.......
2 things
1. If you've tasted the flesh before, your not gonna make it...Just have to posses a strong will.... and I hear this all the time and it lasts usually around 4 days.
2. Yeah this story is scary. I dated a girl who was f-ing gorgeous. College educated, smart, highly sucessful actress and playwright and right before we were about to do the deed, she told me about her *medical condition*.....So I agree with the post. I had to take a cold shower for week
Huh. So you dumped her for her "medical condition"?
You know, your kind is demonized on the Herpes Dating websites...
I think this is going to need another post. Too much fodder here to leave it alone. Stay tuned.
Huh. So you dumped her for her "medical condition"?
You know, your kind is demonized on the Herpes Dating websites...
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No...although its cool to make fun of people, in the end its a medical condition just like anything else...Her boyfriend was bi-curious and never told ..according to her..thats how she got it. So I dumped her because she slept with a gay guy, not herpes. Bad joke..I'm just playing.
Ha ha... I went for a test a couple of weeks ago... i was MISSDIAGNOSED. Before I had 20 other verification tests done, my --fairly new--boyfriend decided that he was sure there was a mistake in the exams. Until then I wasn't sure about him. But after sooo much support I got from him(I was seriously worried)I realized it would be silly for me not to stick around.
But what if you meet this dude who is like REALLY hot?
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