Hoping to Learn #2:
How do you accept a Pompous Person's Peace Offering without losing your own dignity?
Very rarely is it a real apology. And, typically, they've been an asshole themselves, perhaps even continued to be an asshole on more than one occasion. So how do you handle this graciously? (You can't ignore them, cuz then you'll look more mad than you are).
Back in September, I chose to be passive agressively combative in one such circumstance which resulted in being called a negro amid an email stream I'm sure my office's Big Brother *still* laughs about. (Lesson #18573: Don't shit where you eat).
Perhaps I'm being petty. It's true: I rarely forgive and forget. And when I do, it's because the friendship was more important than the offense.
But really. Are you supposed to bow down and thank Rah for his returned rays of sunshine?? Please.
Am I missing an option here?
10 comments:
You were called WHAT? What a messed up conversation that must've been.
If it were me, I would simply say "Thank you" and move on. Even if you know the apology is insincere, the gesture indicates societal pressure or guilt to get the other guy to fold first.
If they're still being an asshole, I would politely remind them that apologizing for past offenses doesn't justify future problems.
You remain above it. Give a polite, not gushing comment, and you remain silent on the forgiving and forgetting. That part is up to you, but I have found it doesn't necessarily pay to forget...only as a matter of self-preservation down the road.
An apology is an admission of guilt but not much else in my eyes. It doesn't change the fact that the individual was a prick before. I hold grudges and don't have any shame about it. Why should time and/or an apology erase prior offenses?
...were you really posting at 3:31am?
Look at Mr.Clock Watcher up there.
But I agree with Martin and Cube - a polite, quick thank you or something and then silence will do the trick. Granted some assholes will take that as carte blanche to do it all over again, but assholes will be assholes. You jsut have to go with what makes you feel good.
Ewww, one of my biggest weaknesses--I'm a revengeful reciprocal bastard. My 2cents and a Subway sandwich stamp:
Make this goon do all the explaining and walk away. Nobody is sincere about apologies unless there is an advantage for them down the road. That bird showed his true colors so let him fly away.
just answer;
"Thank you butt-licker."
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
i need a drink.
Be ingratiating. Thank the 3PO profusely. Offer to buy them a drink sometime.
Then shit in their favorite coffee mug while they're gone.
Martin- Yeah. But I called him a Diva first, so...
Cube- Word. It's just really reallly hard for me to hide what I think/feel. So meekly saying "OK" when what I really want to say is "You dick- how dare you think a handshake would cover it?" is, like, hard for me.
66- That's the thing though. These people aren't apologizing. I've gotten "I'm not mad anymore" and "I'd rather know you than not" in similar circumstances. It's like saying, "Look, I may have been a jerk, but you were too. Shake on it?"
Nanner- Read above. I love you, btw. Hehe.
OFace- O, they're flown and good riddance. The thing is, these people want to come back and "make a peace" about it. I am much more at peace when they stay the fuck away.
But here's another point: why email or call to do this? You really want us to be cool? Say "hi" in person the next time we're in the same room. Actions speak louder than words.
Rich- I like "Grundel-Licking Smegma Face" waaay better. Hehe.
AUA- I was talking to a friend at dinner last night. He was saying that, were the situation ever to arise, to make sure he didn't get raped in prison he would just shit on himself. I have no idea how one does that on command, but your comment made me think of that conversation.
So the solution to having stick their dick up your ass is to get all the shit out first? your friends in trouble.
Post a Comment