"She's off her meds."
I was jolted out of my Monday Mope by a huge dose of reality that put it all in perspective, so to speak.
My close work buddy, AB, told me during lunch about a breakup a close friend of hers was going through. She'd been updating me about this guy's love life for a while between our lunch breaks and trips to our shared yoga class. Last I had heard, AB's friend was trying to end it with a girl who was terminally ill and who had no support system-- evidently, she came from a dysfunctional home (who hasn't?).
AB's friend has finally found his way out of that relationship, but the girl has now very literally decided she wants to give up on life. (Every dumper's fear).
"There's nothing the doctors can do. The meds make her sick, and she wants to live her last few weeks not sick."
If that wasn't bad enough, now this girls ex, AB's friend still had to meet with her Father to fill in the blanks for him in her medical history-- things the Father had missed due to the family's dynamic (absent).
This didn't happen to me, but I'm shaken all the same. If you were her, would you go off your meds, ever? I'm a Kevorkian fan, but I'm also an optimist. What ever happened to the hope of a medical breakthrough? Am I heartless for thinking (even a little) that her timing spells less of a proactive choice and more of a passive agressive personal vendetta? And, in this guy's shoes, how do you ever get over something like that?
4 comments:
To be honest, I'd rather not think about it. I would hate to be in his position right now.
Whoa! I don't know what to say. I feel bad for both of them There is no easy answer. It would be best if the ex could/would stayed close to her and continued some kind of friendly relationship with her. He doesn't have to tell her that he is seeing other women. He could still be there for her and yet still start dating other women.
Either way, he is going to feel guilty. But he needs to realize that none of this is either of their faults. Tragic things happen. He just happens to be involved with this one.
Hmm, overthinking causes headaches.
Me, personally, I'm anti-physician assisted suicide as a Catholic and physician-to-be-eventually. And while this isn't exactly that, for the same reasons that I reject physician assisted suicide, I can't help but be disappointed? (no that's not the word, but I can't find the one) that she'd just give up like this. Regardless of whether or not the boyfriend stayed with her or not.
But then again, if I tried to put myself in her shoes, and I was feeling more miserable by taking a medication that is only postponing the inevitable? 3 weeks of living the rest of my life to the fullest, or 3 months of being stuck in a bed, or hugging the toilet sick to my stomach? I can't say that I wouldn't shun the latter.
My question for him though is why he'd break up with her, knowing that she only has a few weeks to live. I know that in other circumstances, giving false hope to someone is cruel, but in this case if the end is imminently inevitable, what does either of them gain from the breakup?
Ugh. No easy answer.
Nic- As I understand it, when he broke up with her, she was on the meds. In that case, it prolonged her life, (without any quality, though) indefinitely.
VA- Blood on your hands. Good way to put it.
Chase- Wouldn't it be hard to lie to someone who's dying and so completely dependant on you?
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