3.01.2006

F.U.P.A.

It's an acronym for Fat Upper Pu$$y Area. Please tell me you've heard of it. It's the paunch/pouch/poodge that every woman has to some degree, just below her belly button. Some more than others... but I digress.

My FUPA is what gets me to the gym (when I go). It's a love-hate relationship really, cuz I love that that bit of fat is what makes me ovulate every month. I sometimes just wish that it would be less... *sucking in*.

I don't feel this way about any other part of my body. I actually wish my butt were bigger. I love my thighs and hips. But it seems as though I will have to accept that to have those curves, a FUPA comes with the package. No: I know it's not huge, but it's not J.Lo's curves-and-6-pack either. It's a path. I'm getting there. Still, I sometimes wonder: in more intimate settings, when 'sucking in' would be too much of a hindrance (or distraction or interference) for the, uhm, activity at hand, if anyone else notices my FUPA and wishes it weren't there.

Last night, my bar celebrated Mardi Gras in a BIG way. We had Brazilian dancers in Carnivale costume dancing on the main bar. Of the two of them, the best one was this beautiful black girl with an ass that wouldn't quit and- to my delight- a FUPA, too. She worked the crowd, she kicked, rolled, shook-- Damn! I want to BE Brazilian!

She reminded me of a High School choir trip I took to Europe. We were bussing everywhere, always looking schlubby, but how could you help feeling beautiful? The men screamed it everywhere you went. I had never felt more comfortable with myself or more beautiful. I have often wished I could capture that feeling, bottle it somehow, and bring it back to have with me always in the States.

I found myself staring at the dancer and wondering, 'OK, how is she moving her legs to make 'it' shake like that? I wonder how I can get my butt that big...' Not once did I think, 'If only that FUPA wasn't there.' I know no one watching her thought that of her very womanly shape, either.

Fast forward to the dance contest-- I eMCee'd. (Can you imagine?) It was a 4-round elimination kind of deal. Of the 9 that began, by the 4th round, we were left with 4. The screams of the crowd determined the winner. Come on, guys: it was Mardi Gras. There was boob.

More interesting, though, was that the clear winner was a regular of ours-- a Transvestite. Her boobs were, of course, the perkiest of all, and she shook them pure pride; without any of the tinge of guilt the other girl that bared herself seemed to harbor. Being (at least originally) a man, he doesn't have to worry about his sinewy body wanting to pack cushion to his every corner. She had no FUPA. And the men cheered for Her as loudly as they had for the beautiful Brazilian dancer.

Whatever. You win some, you lose some.
Still: I want to BE Brazilian.

22 comments:

Roar Savage said...

It's not an insecurity... OK, it is an insecurity. But I'm not fishing for compliments. (Thanks for that one, though).

Everybody wonders the thoughts that are going through the other persons head during "activities," though, don't they?

I-66 said...

I for one do not notice things like that when it comes to "activities at hand". That is probably one of the last things I think about.

You look just fine.

Anonymous said...

eeewwww.

I-66 said...

True... I'm generally just happy to be participating and concentrating on.. um... "handling my bidness" -- for lack of better terminology and/or work-safe words ;)

Roar Savage said...

Interesting POV's, guys. So, tell me: does that mean you're really thinking about baseball?

Anonymous said...

yuck.

Roar Savage said...

Maybe I'm too much of a chick, (for whom concentration during activities is KEY) but that seems so... sad. Wouldn't it be nice if guys could be "all there"?

I-66 said...

It's not that... it's just a mechanism to keep from um... going too soon.

Roar Savage said...

I know, but still.

Hehe- I love that this is what everyone has picked up on to talk about. No one said anything about me MC'ing a "dance" contest, or a transvestite winning it, or the brazilian dancer... LOL.

I-66 said...

I'm friends with a transgender individual -- I'm desensitized when it comes to the trans prefix.

Anonymous said...

I hope you were playing Kevin Fuggerline for them to dance to, cause, you know, that song is brazillian. Jen-Ewe-Wine Brazillian...

Transvestites don't have boobies (not that I know from experience or anything) Did you mean transgender/transexual?

I envy your night job.

Roar Savage said...

VA- Then talk about the FUPA!

Rich- We call her a transvestite. I have no idea what she has goin' on down below, but up top she is perfectly post-op. I was quite a few feet away, but I was very impressed with the work that had been done. We all have known for a while what her deal is, but had never seen her with her shirt off.

A guy grabbed them as she was coming off the bar. He was bounced out. The bouncee was calling the bouncer a homo for not allowing it. The bouncer just looked at him and said: "I'm a homo? You just grabbed a guys boobs."

LOLOL

Roar Savage said...

O, Sorry VA. I re-read and realized I had forgotten: you already weighed in on the FUPA. No need to beat a dead horse...

Roar Savage said...

I think I liked your first FUPA comment better. This one seems less... appreciative of the FUPA.

Wonder when Daddy will chime in. I'm sure he'll have some weird spin on the FUPA.

And where are all the LADIES?

KassyK said...

Ok Roar-from a girl's point of view-I by no means have a perfect body (good yes..but perfect-no) BUT I do think about said body parts at certain times. What I found curbs that thinking is alcohol. LOL Just kidding--seriously though I have noticed that when I am with my boyfriend I don't think about stuff like that...but when we broke up for a year and I dated other guys...I was having a good time during sex as equally as I was making sure my body looked damn good and sucking in...SAD? Yes.

It's the curse of the media/guys/ourselves...

I am not the kind of girl who "lets herself go" when she is with a boyfriend either...I like to still look good for him (and me) but there is a comfort level there that isn't there when dating...

Anonymous said...

I think women should not only have curves, but they should embrace them. Who wants to be with a skeleton? Furthermore, I don't think it's necessary for women to have six-pack abs. Women should be soft. I'm not saying she should be obese, she of course she keep herself healthy, but a few extra pounds is not a bad thing.
Women should love their bodies and exude their confidence and sexuality. Men like that. Men don't want to be with women that are ashamed of their bodies. Most men anyway.
So, this F.U.P. A. thing you speak of (I've never heard it called that before), should not be an issue (esp. for you Ms. Roar...you look great!), unless it is so big that you can't see your pussy...then you may want to work on losing it. But hey...some men like big girls too!
For me, I know that I need to get in better shape to be healthy and to have more energy...it's something I am working on, but I do not apologize for my body nor do I think less of myself or my sexuality.

(I think I may have gotten of subject with this. That's just how I roll sometimes! ha ha)

Roar Savage said...

Thank G-d for Kassy and the ever-wise Ms. Complacent, the sole female voices (other than my own).

Yes, alcohol curbs inhibition.
Did you ever see Spanglish? It talks about "embracing" curves.

My bottom line (so I don't look like a traitor to my gender): Like I said, I love most of my curves, and go to the gym for the ones I don't.

And I think you look great too, Chase!

Roar Savage said...

...And Daddy came in for the kill. Love ya babes! I'm doing my squats right now.

KassyK said...

I have to agree with Chase-ing too...If you are confident, it shows. I am curvy as well and I go to the gym for the same purpose as you Roar...no interest in being a twig-just to be fit. Hey-I used to wish I was all boy hips and no ass and now I thank gd that I am built like a woman. HEAR HEAR all the women...curvy or boyish!! :-)

Anonymous said...

I think a little fupa is just supah. It's something that is relatively common for women; much less so on girls. I these days, I tend to find women more attractive.

Fupa or not, confidence is attractive. A woman who's comfortable in her own skin is naturally attractive. I'm continually astounded that even the most attractive women I know seem to have something little (like this) about themselves that they wish was different. It makes me wonder what that implies for others.

Roar Savage said...

Kassy- Can I get a "Hell's YEA!"

Jon- Supah: Hillarious.

Anonymous said...

Rock the FUPA!!