1.12.2006

Salsa, Damn It (...or leave me alone)!

It's a fun night. The DJ is playing "...Michaela, como baila bugalu!..." or maybe "Fabricando Fantasias." Anyway, I begin to look around, eager to find a partner worthy of the afore-mentioned songs and, invariably, unfortunately, I will have to sit these songs out once in a while. There just won't be a partner able enough to do them justice. And, I'm fine with that.

But I've seen a disturbing trend recently: Guys that say they can salsa, hell-- they may even think they can salsa, but-- THEY CAN'T SALSA.
Look man, you're not impressing me with your booty moves. (And, frankly, your spastic hip clicks are kind of disturbing). This is SALSA-- this is a two-person thing. Your body is supposed to move with mine, and vice-versa. It's beautiful, cuz no two people dancing it ever look the same with other partners. It's like sex that way. And you're ruining it. You're supposed to LEAD, for G-d's sake! Spin me around. When my right foot goes back... not.... ugh.

It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't talk so much shit. Hey, I get it (I'm the pragmatic type): Not everyone can salsa. Perhaps you think you should be able to, cuz you're whatever-percentage-amount Columbian or Venezuelan (in my experience, two nationalities with very good Salsa-dancing-skill despite their national rivalry ~though I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for Jonathan, my Puerto Rican 7th grade bf~). Still: Your nationality is never a good indicator of dance skill.
I'm in DAR, mother-f***er, and I dance your pants off!
It's not that I think these non-salsa-dancing guys are a waste of time, per se. However, don't talk all that shit and then expect me not to be disappointed. I looooove salsa. Can't get enough. And I've taken my interest to the next level: I dance it a lot-- I'm pretty decent (if I do say so myself).... I can follow well, cross-body lead, multiple turns at once, the whole nine.

So PLEASE to all those reading: DON'T say you salsa unless, you know, you DO!
(Unless you wanna hear Savage growl).
; )

6 comments:

I-66 said...

I took salsa lessons for a few weeks with a less-than-rhythmically-inclined partner who was a little stiff - not as fluid as you should be for salsa. It goes without saying that, since she was my friend and not some random, when she wanted to stop we did.

I wondered what would've come of it if I had kept it up.

Roar Savage said...

Something beautiful, 66. Something beautiful.

; )

I-66 said...

Meh. I've forgotten it all since. We're talking nearly 2 years ago here.

Roar Savage said...

66- You'll have to brush up again. I hear Yuca is hopping these days.

Yo- Gotta say: in the past when I've been booty-dancing, as my little cousin likes to call it, I have not been concious of setting the pace for the guy to "keep up" with. I can't imagine it's fun that way. When Keith Sweat is on, you just gotta each go at it. That's why dancing alone can be a lot of fun-- you can show off more moves that way-- like on one of the platforms at 1223, lol! Like the salt shaker I'm so proud of. But I digress...

I-66 said...

...did you just say Keith Sweat?

Didn't think I'd see his name all year...

Roar Savage said...

lol. A salsa post still goes back to R&B. I was hoping to prove my musical diversity. O well...
; )